Five Ways in Which I Plan To Become a Better Adult

1) A good friend of mine recently stated “I realized I have learned to wash my face every night before bed. This seems silly but it’s a sign of adulthood to me. No more nights when I’m too drunk or too tired to wash my make-up off.” I completely agree with her. Also, I need to learn how to do this.

2) Getting a good, solid eight hours of sleep during the weeknights. I’m not in college anymore, so it’s not like I’m up late writing papers or cramming for exams: I’m up late wasting time on the internet or out at the foreigner’s bar with my friends. I’m getting older, which means my body needs that eight hours of sleep more than it used to so it can, you know, function at work.

3) Eating meals at home other than cereal, PB&Js, and ramen AKA cooking. This is a hard one, because a) I own one plate and very few forks, knives, etc. which means the more I cook, the more I have to HANDWASH dishes in my garbage disposal-less sink and b) the food I buy goes bad so fast! I don’t know if it’s because of the humidity or what. All I know is I can’t buy fruit or veggies without them going bad within a few days. It’s such a waste of food and money, but I’m determined to find a way to make this cooking thing work.

4) I need to be more on top of scheduling regular dentist appointments and health check-ups. I also need to man up and get my wisdom teeth pulled at some point. Now that I have insurance, I have no more excuses.

5) Budgeting and saving money. Basically, my Europe trip demolished destroyed made a slight dent in my savings account, so I want to focus on putting money in there again. I have some exciting, big things planned for next year, which means right now, I need to be saving as much as possible.

How is adulthood going for you? Is there anything you’re working on right now? Do you have any adulthood tips to share?

Alcohol, Dance Clubs, and How I Now Fail at Both

I’ve noticed a couple of things about myself over the past three months:

1) I can’t drink alcohol like I used to and

2) I don’t enjoy going to dance clubs like I used to.

I used to be good at drinking alcohol: When I worked at a restaurant, I would have a libation almost every night after I got off work; I would attend beer festivals and wine tastings on the weekends; this past St. Patrick’s Day, I chugged pints of Guinness and Irish Car Bombs like a champ.

Now that I’m 26 with a full-time Big Kid Job, I don’t drink nearly as much as I used to because I’m trying to get better at that thing called BEING A RESPONSIBLE ADULT. Getting drunk on a weeknight is not an option anymore because the thought of trying to teach six 5th grade classes while hungover does not seem the least bit appealing. And since I’m not drinking nearly as much these days, my alcohol tolerance is much lower: If I have two sips of anything with alcohol in it, I’m giggling and blushing within minutes.

Going out to dance clubs is also not as appealing as it used to be now that I’m in a relationship. When I was single, I loved going out to dance clubs because not only do I love to dance, they were good places to find guys to make out flirt with. But now when I go to dance clubs, I cling to my girlfriends and won’t even make eye contact with members of the opposite sex.

Don’t get me wrong, I still enjoy going to dance clubs for the actual dancing part; the dance club I went to this past Saturday night played awesome music that kept me on the dance floor for hours. However, something else I’ve noticed is: I can’t attempt to dance sexy dance sexy anymore! I just alternate back and forth between side-stepping and bouncing around aimlessly; I might even throw in a hair flip, but that’s about all I got.

Oh, and don’t even get me started on the creepers who hang out in said dance clubs. Ladies, you know the ones. The guy who tries to sandwich himself in between you and your girlfriend so he can look like a “pimp.” Or the guy who just stands next to you awkwardly in hopes you’ll make the first move. Or the guy who comes up from behind and starts bumpin’ and grindin’ all up on you and then your girl gives you that look which means “No, he’s not cute. And he smells bad. Abort immediately!”

And those are my recent observations: I’ve morphed back into a lightweight, dance clubs are not really my scene anymore, and I’ve somehow lost my Beyonce-dancing abilities. I still plan on going to dance clubs once in a while, however, because my girlfriends are going to need a wing woman every now and then.  Maybe next time I go, I’ll make a shirt to wear that says something like this:

“I just came here to celebrate my best friend’s birthday and dance with my girlfriends and my gay guy friend so thanks for the invite but no I don’t want to dance or make out with you so please go away while we form a circle around our shoes and pocketbooks and JUST DANCE and if you come near me again I’ll effing taser you.”

A Very Special Birthday Weekend

My original birthday plans for this past weekend got altered a bit, but I still ended up having a great 26th birthday nonetheless. One of my best friends, Blythe, got sick unexpectedly, so I postponed my birthday dinner for Thursday night until she was well enough to attend. That meant I would spend my birthday evening alone with Chance, which was perfectly okay with me.

After I got done with work, Chance and I went out to dinner at a dalk galbi restaurant so he could experience his first Korean food meal. Turns out Chance not only likes dalk galbi, but he likes kimchi too! I was impressed; I’ve been here for two months and I still don’t like kimchi.

Me eating dalk galbi on my birthday

Chance trying kimchi and enjoying it!

After dinner, we headed to a little cafe for some birthday dessert: ice cream sundae waffles! Mashisoyo! (That means “delicious” in Korean.)

My favorite Korean food

After dinner, Chance gave me his birthday present: a framed picture collage full of pictures of us. This meant a lot because I love pictures, and giving framed photo collages as gifts is something I do often for my family and friends, so the fact that Chance did that meant so much to me.

Friday night, Blythe was feeling better, so a small group of us made a trip out to Osan, a foreigners’ city, for some Mexican food.

Me and my mister

The cake Blythe got for me

Congratulations! You're old.

My handmade "Birthday Princess" sash, also courtesy of Blythe

Me with my chingus (friends) and my namjachingu (boyfriend)

We never ended up going to the German beer and Mexican food festival because we didn’t sign up for it on time, but it’s okay. I got to spend my birthday with my boyfriend, one of my best friends, and some of my new friends. They helped to make my first birthday away from home special, and I love and appreciate them for it.

Twenty-Six

She's all grownz up. Kinda.

“Happiness hit her like a train on a track, like a bullet in the back.” – Florence + The Machine

My 26th birthday is tomorrow, also known as my “golden birthday” and my “last year of my mid-twenties.” My plan for tonight is to pick up a very special birthday present at the airport. Tomorrow I have to work, but after work, I’ll be getting together with some friends for dinner at a Mexican food restaurant and perhaps do dessert/drinks afterward. On Saturday, we’re going to continue the Mexican fiesta by attending a German beer and Mexican food festival somewhere around Seoul. (Last year for my birthday, I went wine tasting in Napa. Clearly, I’m getting classier with age.)

I think it’s pretty common for people to stop and evaluate their lives every year on the day they were born: “Is this where I thought I’d be by this age?”; “Am I happy with where I’m at in life?” I am, without a doubt, one of those people.

I remember when I turned 25, I freaked out. I started doing that thing when you start comparing yourself to others’ lives and think: “Shouldn’t I be where she’s at?”; “Shouldn’t I be done with college by now?”; “Shouldn’t I be closer to getting married and having kids?”; “What the hell do I want to do with my life anyway?” I guess you could say that my Quarter Life Crisis was in full effect.

I’ve been thinking a lot about 25 and how much I’ve changed and grown up in the last year: I finally graduated from college; I moved out of Sacramento for the first time ever to a country I had never even been to before; I started my first Big Kid Job; I fell happy in love; and I’m now in my first serious relationship.

Where I am now in life at 26 is nowhere close to where I saw myself 10 years ago. Sixteen-year-old Gina thought she’d major in Photography, be done with college at age 22, get married right after, and have 6.5 kids by now. Living in South Korea? Teaching English? Still not married and no kids? No way, not 16-year-old Gina.

Needless to say, this is definitely not* where I thought I’d be at 26. But that’s ok, because I’m happy, and that’s the most important thing. In fact, this is the happiest I’ve ever been: I love my job, I’m traveling, and I’m in a happy, healthy relationship with an amazing guy. I really couldn’t ask for anything more.

Twenty-five was a great year; I look forward to what 26 has to bring.

*I’m actually glad things didn’t turn out the way 16-year-old Gina had planned. Six kids? Really?

I’m a Big Kid Now! Me On: Becoming an Adult

“Your twenties are when you learn to become an adult.” – Drew Hoolhurst

With only one month left until my 26th birthday, I’m finally starting to feel like an adult for the first time in my life. For some people, it starts at the age of 18 after graduating from high school and becoming “of legal age.” For others, it starts at the age of 22 after they’ve graduated from college and start their first full-time job right away. For me, it’s now: I graduated from college last December at the age of 25; three months later, I “left the nest” and moved to South Korea to start my first Big Kid Job as a full-time English teacher at an elementary school; instead of living paycheck to paycheck like I did when I was working my way through school, I’m making more than enough to live comfortably and put away money in my savings; I have my very own apartment and I’m even paying for internet here, rather than wifi-mooching at coffee shops like I did back home.

Along with an adult lifestyle, I’m starting to develop an adult mentality. There was a long time when I told myself I didn’t want to get married or have kids, but lately, I’ve been thinking otherwise. I’ve realized that getting married and having kids is something I do want to do in life, so my goal for the next year is to put away enough money to hopefully get married, buy a house, and have children someday.

And finally, I’m starting to–dun dun DUUUUUN–act old. I never understood why my friends with full-time jobs were always too tired to go out with me on a Friday night when I was in college. And if they did go out with me, I never understood why they would “call it a night” at 11pm. But now I know. Working 40 hours a week is tiring, especially when you work with kids for 40 hours a week. Since I started my job a month ago, I’ve had to make myself go out on Friday and Saturday nights and make myself stay out until past 12am, when I’d much rather be in bed rejuvenating from a tiring work week. And don’t even get me started on my struggles when it comes to going out on a weeknight.

Okay, so there was that one time I went to a bar on a school night and had one too many tequila shots. And there was the time I ate top ramen for breakfast because I had put off grocery shopping for so long, I had absolutely nothing else in my apartment to eat. However, like the aforementioned quote reads, your twenties are for learning how to be an adult; your thirties are for being an adult. I may be in my mid-twenties with a full-time job, Big Girl Internet, and money in the bank. But I’ve still got a few things to learn before I turn 30, like how to cook well, how to change a tire, and how to refrain from taking one too many tequila shots on a school night.

10 Lessons I Learned in 2010

1) Guys are immature. Period. A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a male friend of mine about some of the guys I dated or was interested in this past year. I told him how one of the guys didn’t know what he wanted in regards to dating and relationships, to which he responded: “What guy does?” Then I told him how one of the guys didn’t have his shit together, to which he responded: “What guy does?” Finally, I told him how one guy was three years older than me, yet not mature at all, to which he responded: “What guy is?” Hmm, point taken.

2) Who my true friends are. I had a lot of experiences this year, both good and bad. And throughout those experiences, I had friends who were there for me 100%, friends who were there for me about half of the time, and “friends” who weren’t there at all. Seeing those varying levels of accountability made me realize I have friends in my life whom I can count on no matter what, friends whom I shouldn’t expect too much from, and “friends” who aren’t friends at all.

3) Yoga is good for you, especially Cardio Yoga. I started practicing yoga at the end of 2009 and fell in love with it not only because of how it helps me with my strength, flexibility, and balance, but because of how it helps calm me when I’m stressed (which can be often). Over this past summer, I tried Cardio Yoga and fell in love with it as well because of the “cleansed” feeling I would receive after each class. If you’re looking for a great way to get in shape, detox, and lower your stress levels, Cardio Yoga is the way to go.

4) Comfort Zones are for chumps. So is quitting. This year, I did something completely new and out of my element: I changed my minor to Dance, which meant I would be required to take a variety of technique classes and perform in a couple of dance concerts consisting of dance styles I wasn’t used to: Modern, Ballet, and Contemporary Jazz. As a Lindy Hopper, a social dancer, I can’t even begin to tell you how much I struggled and how much frustration I felt in my classes and rehearsals. But even though I was so far beyond my “dance comfort zone,” I never gave up, quit, or said “I can’t do it.” And because of that, I grew as a dancer this year. Tremendously.

5) I have my standards for a reason. Thanks to the aforementioned dating experiences from this year, I’ve learned what I want in a relationship, and what I don’t want.

6) Living with a roommate can be fun. In April, I moved in with my roommate Brigette. I was excited about this move, but also a little apprehensive because not only had I never lived with a roommate before, but all I had heard about roommate situations were horror stories and how living with a friend will ruin the friendship. Luckily for me and Brigette, that hasn’t been the case. These past eight months have consisted of wine nights on our balcony, late-night heart-to-hearts, and developing a special closeness that only comes with sharing a living space with another person. I’m really happy to say that my first roommate experience has turned out to be a positive one.

7) Change is scary, but good. I’ve never been a big fan of change: I like familiarity and being comfortable with where I’m at. However, if we start to get too familiar and too comfortable with where we’re at in life, then that’s when we stop learning and growing. We become stagnant, which can eventually lead to unhappiness. This is what happened to me after working at the same restaurant for six years, so I made a huge change over the summer that consisted of my finding another restaurant job to replace the one I’d had for far too long. I was really scared to make the change at first, but as it turns out, the change was a good one, because now I’m working at a place where I’m constantly learning and growing. And I love it.

8) You are what you eat. It seems like more and more people are developing terminal illnesses these days, and a lot of that has to do with poor diets consisting of too much junk food. So this year, I changed my eating habits dramatically: no more soda, fast food, and meat. Instead, more veggies, fruits, and local, sustainable, and organic foods. The result? Looking and feeling healthier, as well as lower risks for terminal illnesses. Sounds good to me.

9) The rules are there are no rules. When I turned 25 earlier this year, it was really hard not to evaluate where I was in life, and it was even harder not to freak out about it: Shouldn’t I be done with school and have a full-time job by now?! Shouldn’t I be married with kids by now?! Sometimes it’s easy to compare ourselves to “Life Timelines,” or to the people around us and where they’re at in their lives. But the important thing to remember is that those “Life Timelines” don’t exist anymore. These days, everyone’s finishing school, finding jobs, and starting families at different points in their lives: when they’re ready. And that’s okay.

10) If life was easy, then it wouldn’t be life. This year, I watched my mom die from cancer, and it was the hardest experience I’ve ever gone though. Sometimes, when we least expect it, life will throw us a huge curveball, but it’s all for a reason: to give us a wake-up call, to change our perspectives, and to make us stronger. So when life throws those kinds of curveballs at you, don’t worry, because you’re going to get through it and become a stronger person in the process. I promise.

Future Self: A Letter

December 21 – Future Self. Imagine yourself five years from now. What advice would you give your current self for the year ahead?

Dear Gina, Age 25

Congratulations! You did it! You’ve accomplished your goal of graduating from college and earning a degree. You’ve worked really hard for this and I’m proud of you. Now that you’re finally done with college, you’re probably really excited to move on to bigger and better things. But first, I want to give you some advice to help you in the year 2011: your first year as an adult.

Now that you’re not in college anymore, it’s time to make your way into Big Girl Life. This means presenting yourself as an adult: No more wearing pajamas, or even sweats, in public! You’re going to have to start learning how to cook real food, rather than spaghetti and cheese quesadillas. You should also stop wifi-mooching at your neighborhood coffee shops and set up Big Girl Internet in your apartment. Make sure you’re diligent about doctor/dentist check-ups, eating healthy, and exercising. Start saving money for your future endeavors.

You’re going to have a lot more time on your hands now, so make sure you spend it wisely. Be there for your little siblings as much as possible by supporting them, encouraging them, and being a positive role model. Spend time with your grandparents, because they won’t be around much longer. Get back into doing volunteer work. Constantly show love and gratitude for the people in your life.

You’re going to have more time to date now, and even have a relationship if you want one. But do yourself a favor by not dating anymore 23 year olds. In fact, just stay away from younger guys altogether. Hell, even the older guys have their moments of immaturity. Whatever the age, situation, or circumstance, always remember to keep in mind your standards—the love you’re holding out for. Don’t rush into something that doesn’t feel right just because your friends are all getting married and you think you should be doing the same. You’re only 25; you have the rest of your life to settle down. Pace yourself.

My last bit of advice to you is: Be brave. I know you’re experiencing a lot of confusion and change right now. You have so many things you want to do in life and you don’t know where to start. You’re transitioning from a college student to an actual adult. You’re growing up, but don’t be scared. If you feel called to move to another country for a year, do it. If you decide you want to go back to school, go back. If you get offered a great full-time job in Sacramento, take it. When you make mistakes along the way, learn from them. But whatever you do, make sure it feels right and makes you happy.

Oh, and one more thing: You have a bright future ahead. Be sure to enjoy every minute of it.

Love,

Gina, Age 30

I Already Knew I Was Getting Old, but Damn

I felt a little silly waiting in line to take a picture with Ariel

My recent trip to Disneyland has made me realize how old I’m getting.  I mean, not old old, like grandma old.  But I am definitely starting to notice the differences between my early twenties and my mid-twenties as far as energy and excitement levels go.

I got to the park around noon on Friday, and for the first hour or so, I was like a little kid visiting for the first time.  I began planning what rides I wanted to go on and what I wanted to see; I envisioned the foods I would eat and souvenirs I would buy; I even chased down Ariel so I could get a picture with her.  But like I said, this all only lasted for the first hour…

Then I started waiting in the long lines to go on the rides, and that got old real fast.  So did all of the loud noises, the chaotic crowds, and the abundant amount of walking that one has to do while at an amusement park.  And the kids – oh my god, the kids!  There were so many!  Yes, I know this is Disneyland we’re talking about, but wow.  I should also mention that most of them were crying/misbehaving/making a mess/smelly/breaking things, which only added to their “appeal.”  I never thought I would say this, but after being at Disneyland for two days, I would be ok with not ever having any children.  And that says a lot coming from someone who once wanted six kids of her own.  But I digress.  With the combination of the long lines, loud noises, non-stop walking, cluster fucks of people, and bratty children, I found myself utterly exhausted by 8pm and more than ready for bed.

It’s funny to notice the changes in one’s personality that come with getting older.  The last time I went to Disneyland at the age of 20, I went on every ride, took pictures with every character, got to the park as soon as it opened and stayed until it closed.  During my most recent visit, I attempted to do the same, but would have much rather hung out by the hotel pool with a margarita instead.

Don’t get me wrong, I had a great time in Disneyland; I really did.  I just think that for my next vacation, I will go somewhere a little bit more peaceful.  And with a lot less kids.